nostalgia : betapa NORAKNYA aku dulu

kisah ini bermula ketika aku SD dulu, sekitar kelas 3 mungkin.
saat diriku yang lugu ini masih berada di dunia sendiri dengan imajinasi masing2... ketika itu, satu hal yang kuingat, aku mengagumi sebuah film yang (tidak kusebut namanya karena saat itu aku belum tahu) keren sampai ku bela2in nongkrong di depan TV di hari berikutnya demi berharap film itu diputar (ngarep abiiis padahal gak mungkin. maklum anak kecil). apalagi kalo inget adegan pendekar pedang tuh menghentikan waktu buat nyerang musuh tapi keburu mati weiiishh manteep banget gaya terbangnya itu looh.


maka, bertahun2 penantian itu telah terjawab. setelah lebih dari 5 tahun aku menunggu...

ENG ING ENG ING ENG......


 FILM KEREN itu pun MUNCUL... JREEENG JREEEENG



saat melihat sekilas, mataku mendelik dan kupingku bergidik begitu mendengar kata bernostalgia itu, "angin.." "awan..." "gulungan sakti..." YEAAH!

tapi ternyata.. tidak begitu ceritanya kawan.. 0__0

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the day i try to encourage my self

as long as many people do,

they alive is not cause it's written. 'we', are live on the face of the earth not because our luck which make us can take a deep breath and feeling the winds blows up.

so how could?

i believe that's all about our effort to achieve it.

but day by day past and one thing that i realize.

am i deserve to achieve all this kindness from God? is it the best way when i feel that i am is the choosen from a billion thousand of sperm that try to live? am i? so why?

but it is not, cause my biggest fear is the question about, "how much i've done to be useful person? that give a pleasent thing and spread happiness?"

i'm absolutely agree and even, sometimes jealous with our friends who haven't gotten all what i have here. they're more pathethic but still can smile even hidden their tears. but how could i am, couldn't get my really happiness and my abstrack determination? am i take my life for granted? i guess so.

when i become laziness, i try to built my self for many times as i do in the past. but it's different, i know.
my biggest concern is since all the things i have, there's nothing i have to keep it. i do worry if sometimes my frighten can fight all my effort and enthusiasm.

well, for my life. i have to rebuilt again. i will.

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our deepest fear is not that what we are inadequate

our deepest fear is we are powerful beyond measure

we ask our self, "who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous,.."

actully, "who are you not to be?"

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